Showing posts with label Talks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talks. Show all posts

Tuesday, 1 November 2016

10 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE QUITTING A RELATIONSHIP

We have all been through breakup at some point in time in our relationship and the thought of should I quit or stick with the hope that things will improve eventually will have to creep in. It has always come down to asking ourselves few questions before making a firm decision and a little observation can help you make the right choice for your life. Here are questions you should ask yourself before ending a relationship;
1. Does the relationship bring out the best in me?
The right person should encourage you, support you and make you feel a shared happiness when you reach a new goal. If the person brings you down, brings out negative emotions in you or doesn’t fulfill your needs and desires, you really need to stop and ask yourself where things are heading to between the two of you and if you would be better off flying alone for a while.
2. Am I having to sacrifice more than I should for the relationship?
If you relationship feels like a burden then you need to question what they are bringing to the table and how much you have sacrificed in order to make the relationship work. You really need to ask yourself if you feel satisfied in the relationship or not because you can only give so much in a relationship before you feel taken advantage of. If the other partner does not pull their own weight and does not make you feel special or wanted then you should go your separate ways.
3. Do we share the same passion and goals for our future?
Conversation regarding the future will inevitably come up in any committed relationship. In most cases, two people going in completely opposite directions won’t have much of a chance at keeping the flame alive way down the road, so you need to ask yourself this question early on.
4. Are we fighting more than we are laughing
Relationship should not be like a dreadful part of your life, they should inspire you, uplift you and make you feel alive in general. Disagreement will occur in any relationship but if you spend majority of your time fighting rather than enjoying life in each other’s presence, this is a red flag for you. Be with someone who ignite’s the light within your soul and not those who dampen your spirit.
6. Do they add value to my life
Do they really enhance your life, add color and vibrancy or make you feel drained and uninspired? If you start seeing everything differently once you are with them, you need to ask yourself if the relationship is really worth sacrificing your happiness for.
7. Would I regret it later if I didn’t end the relationship today? 
Would you look back and wish you had moved on from the relationship five years from now? Living with regrets will always leave a deeper wound than getting out of an unfulfilling relationship even if it means you have to be single for a while. Stay true to your heart and never stay in a relationship just because it feels comfortable or because you feel like you would be letting the other person down.
8. Do I feel happy or upset majority of the time?
There is no relationship that would not go through some trials and tribulations, most times, the struggles that people face together makes their relationship stronger. You should never stay in a relationship because you feel you are obligated to do so, if you do not feel happy, you have every right and responsibility to disclose your feelings to your partner.
9. Do we make time for one another?
All of us have obligation in the modern world and life can get pretty hectic from time to time. However, no responsibility should take precedence over the love you have for one another, people either make time or excuses so if it seems that your partner often makes the latter do you really want to continue the relationship feeling like you are constantly put on the back burner?
10. Would my life be better without them in the picture?
This is really a good question, what would your life look like without them around? If you imagine yourself as a happier and more peaceful person then you need to sit down with your partner and come clean about your feelings. Breakups can cause a temporary upheaval and emotional wave in your life.

Thursday, 1 September 2016

Ese Walter speaks on why she married OAP, Benny Ark

Ese Walter of Femina Speaks shared an emotional piece on how she has grown to love her husband, Benny Ark.

Walter reflected on how the few months of her marriage was a mess, how she wanted out and how she has grown to love the man she is married to.
According to her, she was not in love with Benny Ark when she got married to him. She just needed a change of story.
Read her post on Instagram below:
"When I agreed to marry him two and a half years ago, I didn't love him. Heck I didn't love my own self. I just needed a change of story. I needed to stop being the girl everyone called an evil mistress and "graduate" to somebody's Mrs I thought the Mrs title was going to save my ass and bring me some sort of redemption. I was wrong.
Calling what happened next a disaster is putting it mildly. Weeks into living together brought out the worse in both of us. I thought I made a mistake. I didn't trust him so why was I married to him. We would argue over everything and I convinced myself I wanted out despite the baby on the way. In therapy, I was able to face my own demons for the first time.
I realised it was never about him or the other guys I dated. I was always looking for a fix outside of myself. I was always needing someone to take away the pain and save my lonely self. I was looking for what I wasn't because I thought that could heal me.
Months of living outside my comfort zone and going where the pain was brought me face to face with my demons that saved me. I didn't trust him because I didn't trust me. I couldn't love him because I had no love to give. I was always blaming him because it was easier to project than take responsibility. As I started to evolve and see my own self, I was able to see him for the first time.
As I started loving myself, I was able to love him and now as I learn to trust myself, I am trusting him, one day at a time. As I lay beside him last night I remembered a quote I read sometime ago. I don't remember who said it but it read, "when you love the one you got, the one you got becomes the one you love."
When I stopped trying to change him and let him be, I was able to give room for his own evolving. He ain't perfect. Who wants perfect anyways? I am learning that all is as it should be in the Universe, there are no mistakes only feedback.
The Universe brought the one I needed for my evolving and I am thankful. GRATITUDE is my dominant feeling this morning. If you are struggling with the one you love, know that the world's standard of love is fucked up. Vibrate higher and love because of love.

Monday, 22 August 2016

Where is the change? - Bob Manuel asks Buhari

– Nollywood actor Bob Manuel has waded into the current economic crisis rocking the country – He called on the Buhari-led government to bring the much desired change it promised Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Veteran Nollywood actor, Bob Manuel has joined the list of entertainers who has lamented the suffering and anguish Nigerians have been made to go through in the name of ‘change’. In a chat with Punch, he called on the Buhari-led government to bring the much desired change it promised. The actor said due to the epileptic power supply in the country, he may develop hypertension should he calculate how much he spends buying fuel to power his generator.
“People are suffering, there is no money. People are not smiling. These days, you hear stories of food theft because of the bad situation of things. All is not well for now. ” I now use generators more than most Nigerians. We have no choice due to poor power supply in the country. I rely mostly on generator for my power needs. I cannot estimate how many hours I enjoy government power supply in a day, sometimes there is electricity today, and tomorrow there is none. It’s an on-and-off situation. Sometimes, there could be no power for weeks and I often forget there’s anything called government power supply. It’s just like what every other Nigerian experiences. “I have three generators in my house. It is not deliberate and it is not to prove being rich, but it is because of the condition we have found ourselves in this country. I run one in the morning, one in the afternoon and one in the night. By doing this, I will be able to lengthen the lifespan of the generators. Of course, running the generator throughout the day creates a deep hole in the pocket, but what can we do with the epileptic power supply in the country? “I have stopped calculating the amount. It is painful. You can just imagine if someone is spending just N1,000 per day to run a generator, in a month, you would have spent N30,000. Many Nigerians spend more than that per month. Personally, if I calculate what I spend on powering my generators, I will develop high blood pressure. I don’t bother again and of course there is no hope that power supply in this country will improve. “No hope,” he echoed. “There is none and I will tell you why. The issue of power supply in this country cannot be solved in a day. The problem was caused by a particular set of people in this country who don’t want to see things work. Twenty years ago, having a generator was by choice, not something everybody had. Only a few people had it. But things got worse afterwards and now the importation of generators is big business and the importers are making billions of naira from it. “Some of the importers are big people in this country who are doing everything they can to not make power supply improve. Some of them partially own the companies that manufacture generators. These people are in the government and wield huge influence. I am pessimistic we can succeed in getting good power supply again in this country. If it is ever going to happen, it will involve the shedding of blood because the cabal will be ready to do anything for their business to keep thriving. I am putting this as a challenge to the government, let them prove me wrong. We can never get stable power supply again in this country,” the movie icon reinstated. Just last week, ATL based rapper, Eldee expressed his dissatisfaction with the Buhari-led government, stating that President Buhari’s government is not the way forward for Nigeria in a series of tweets insisting that it was a huge mistake to have thought otherwise. 

Saturday, 13 August 2016

My sexy pregnant wife - Article by Charly Boy


Read his article below...
I remember back in the days, when I was in the baby making business. I always admired, loved, pampered and overprotected my wife, more. That's how come I was witness to the birth of our last two girls, (now grown ass women). Yea, I loved her more each time I gave her a Big Bang belly.
She glowed more, in my eyes she was sexier,(still is). Don't know about you, but there is something sexy about pregnant women that always suggests that they should be treated and handled with tender, loving, care. They are not only special but sexy as well.

I loved to watch her body change, her hips become wider, her butt grows bigger, her boobs become fuller, her belly is exciting, her navel is sensual; she is pleasant to look at, a full woman. Hey! hold whatever thought is brewing in your head. This was some 26yrs ago, wish we had IPhones then, I would have shared her pictures with you. She was sexy gaga. No be yoke!

Some women are unlovable when they are pregnant. Forget the ones who are forming self-reliant because this pushes the man away making him irrelevant. Some men too can be an ass when it comes to taking care of their pregnant woman. However, most pregnant women love to be pampered, she wants her man to treat her like a Queen. Men love to be needed, they love to feel important, they love being the hero, it is a big turn on for a lotta men. Walaiii. Many pregnant women radiates a glow. Their skin, their body, their smile, their voice lights up because life is growing inside them.

She is beautiful, desiring to love and be loved. My guy, when your woman is pregnant, celebrate her new form of sexiness, don’t chase after other women. She is pregnant and sexy; but most important, she is carrying your child, a child you manufactured when her sexy self gave you great sex! Hummmmm!!! Freaky Dicky. This is for all the mothers to be, who are right now with Big Bang Belly. Just to say, you all are beautiful. If you feel like sharing Gods creative work with us by way of a decent sexy picture, go ahead and show the world your glow, as long as your man no mind, the rest can jump into the gutter. Keep glowing Sexy Mama.

FOR MORE INTERESTING STORIES, KINDLY VISIT
www.charlyboy.me
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Sunday, 29 May 2016

Femi Adesina writes on the softer side of President Buhari



In an article titled Buhari: Beyond The Iron & Steel, presidential media aide, Femi desina gives an insight into the softer side of President Buhari. Read below...
They were called the unsmiling duo. In his first incarnation as Nigerian leader, the then Major General Muhammadu Buhari was paired with another top brass military officer, Babatunde Idiagbon, who was the number two man. Smile was alien to their lips, laughter a total stranger. 
They had a job to do, which was to rid the country of corruption, crime and indiscipline, and anybody who didn't fall in line was liable to being dealt with. And summarily too. Laughter was, therefore, a distraction.

Buhari was reticent, Idiagbon, taciturn. A fearful and fearsome combination. Do the crime, serve the time was their motto. Manifest indiscipline, even in something as pressing as answering the call of nature, urinate by the roadside, and you can't tell anybody it was the work and of the Devil. They would tell you the Devil does not pee. Vandalize public utilities? Twenty years in jail. Traffic in cocaine? Goodbye to the world. Nigeria was being whipped into line, and no mistake. But that nirvana lasted only 20 months, and forces of reaction struck. The regime was toppled.

Along the line, Idiagbon went the way of all flesh. But 30 years later, Providence brought Buhari back to the number one position. Did Nigerians who were of age forget the reticent, ramrod straight man from Daura? No. The mental image they had (and still have) of him, is a man of iron and steel, a new sheriff in town, who whips all malefactors into line. A forbidding man who rarely smiles, and who never enjoys the music of the soul; laughter. Such frivolities are for the flippant and unserious. True? Not so. Yes, there is iron and steel in President Buhari, which makes him able to set his face as flint against the corrupt, no matter who such person is. The iron makes him abhor indiscipline, the steel compels him to crave order and decorum at all times. But is the man all iron and steel? Follow me, as I let you into another vista, another side of the essential Buhari. The human sde, flesh and blood.
By Wednesday, June 1, it would be exactly a year that I started working with the President as his adviser on media and publicity. And I have seen him in many moods: sober, pensive, business-like, and light, yes, easy, jocular mood. This President enjoys good laughter, and, indeed, has a rich sense of humour.
On resumption day, I met the President at Defence House, his temporary outpost, while the Aso Rock presidential villa was being renovated.
"Chief Adesina, welcome," he said, as he exteded his hand to me. We both burst out laughing. Of course, I was no chief. Simply Mr. And the President knew it. He was only pulling my legs.

Having waved me to a seat, the President gave me what can be called the rule of engagement, which would guide my service to him, and to the country.
"Tell me the truth always," he declared. " That is what I want from you. The truth. I may argue with you, you know I am a General, but please argue with me. If your argument is superior, I will bow to it."
And the President has lived up to his word, one year down the road.
On his very first day at Aso Villa, I had approached the President, saying it was necessary for him to visit journalists covering the seat of power at the Press Gallery. He agreed, and strolled from his office a few minutes later. In his first coming, the then General Buhari was not known to be enamoured of the Press. He enacted Decree 4, which was meant to protect public officers against false accusation, and two journalists were actually jailed under the decree.

For President Buhari to then visit journalists in their gallery on the first day at the presidential villa was, therefore, historic. The true democrat was here. After his remarks, soliciting the support of the press men, he shook their hands one after the other, making witty remarks. When Juliana Taiwo Obalonye introduced herself as representing The Sun, the President said:"Warn your cartoonist. Warn your cartoonist. My chin is not as long as he usually draws it." Loud guffaws from everyone.
He had one thing or the other to say about almost all the media houses present. It was an evening of conviviality.

There were two instances when the President exhibited good humour at what could potentially rile someone else. Following his many overseas trips, which have been unjustifiably criticised in the media, there was a cartoon in a newspaper, which said when a country elects a nomadic Fulani as President, how would they expect him to sit in one place? The President laughed and laughed. He even told the story to some people who visited him later in the day.

On another occasion, somebody wrote an opinion piece with the headline: 'When will President Buhari visit Nigeria?' Rib cracking laughter was what it elicited in the President. The writer was insinuating that the President was more abroad than at home, and whenever he came back, it meant he was visiting Nigeria. But since the President knew the purpose behind his foreign trips, he rather laughed off the cheeky newspaper headline.
Have you heard the story of the German sentry? The President loves to tell it. The first occasion I heard him relate the story was when the Peace Committee headed by Gen Abdulsalami Abubakar visited him. Also in the team were people like the Sultan of Sokoto, His Eminence Sa'ad Abubakar 111, Bishop Matthew Hassan Kukah, and many others. They had come to appeal that the anti- corruption war be waged within the ambit of the rule of law. The President listened patiently, and then responded:
"In the military, there used to be this joke about the German sentry. When a sentry is on duty, and he heard any movement, particularly if it was dark, he barks out. 'Who goes there? Advance to be recognized.' With his gun at the ready, he interrogates the person, and if he tells an acceptable story, he waves the person on. But when the German sentry hears movement in the dark, he lets out a volley of shots, and then shouts:'Who went there?' Of course, he knows he has killed the person."

The President explained that when he came as a military ruler, he was like the German sentry. " I packed all the people who were suspected to be corrupt, and kept them in protective custody. And I told them they were corrupt, until they could prove themselves innocent.
"But now, under a democratic setting, I see corrupt people going around in Rolls Royce, but they remain innocent, until I can prove them guilty."
Of course, the President and his guests laughed heartily.
From time to time, President Buhari grants interviews to television stations at home and abroad. And they have to fit their microphones on his dress. Whenever the interview is concluded, the President would fiddle with the microphone, which had been passed under his dress, and then exclaim:"Can somebody disarm me, please?" For a retired army officer, that is quite creative, and it causes people to laugh.

The President notices everything, even the seemingly insignificant. One day, I was in a Yoruba native dress, with a cap which was rather big for my head, product of a tailor who was too generous with his fabric. When the President saw me, he said:"Adesina, this cap is too big." I was surprised at his attention to details. Or talk of Bayo Omoboriowo, the President's personal photographer. Typical of his young age, Bayo loves multi-coloured socks, which may, or may not rhyme with the colour of his clothing. And he would wear trousers that are several inches above his shoes, thus displaying Joseph's coat of many colours, which his socks are. That has become his trademark. And then comes in Bayo one day, donning sober socks like people of my generation would wear. To our amazement, President Buhari said:"Bayo, you are not wearing multi-coloured socks today. What happened?" General laughter.

In 1985, while he was military head of state, Nigeria won its first Under 17 World Cup title. Thirty years later, under President Buhari, Nigeria won the same laurel again. The day the trophy was handed over to him, the President admired it, turned it from side to side, and then submitted:"Soccer loves me." Really true.

Those who think President Buhari is all iron and steel and nothing else have not experienced what I did in 2013. My mum had passed on, aged 75. We planned a commendation service for her in Lagos, and I had invited a number of people, Gen Buhari included. As I stayed with my siblings at the gate of the hall in Alausa, welcoming people, an SUV drove in. The door opened, and a man alighted. Who was he? "General, you are here!You came all the way from Kaduna!" I exclaimed. And he gave that smile that often makes him look like a child, without guile or trickery. Simple, trusting. He said it was his pleasure to come, and he sat through the Christian service. Didn't some people say he was a religious bigot? Bigotry sure needs to be redefined.

The same thing the President has done this week. Peter Claver Oparah is a dyed-in- the-wool Buhari supporter. His mother died and was buried just yesterday in Imo State. When I told President Buhari that one of his most ardent supporters had lost the mother, he sympathized, did the family a condolence letter, which he personally signed. How very human!
Last Decembr, I told the President that it would be good if he made personal calls to some of his faithful supporters, to wish them a merry Christmas. He agreed. We compiled the names. Rev Moses Iloh. Rev Chris Okotie. Barrister Monday Ubani. Chief Duro Onabule. Gen Sam Momah (retd), and many others. The President spoke with them one after the other, laughing and making them laugh at the other end. Then, he told me to include Dr Tunji Braithwaite in the list. I quickly called journalist and activist, Richard Akinnola, who gave me the man's number. The President and Dr Braithwaite talked for a very long time, and it was mirth all the way. They kept laughing. Unknown to the President, it was a valedictory call. When Braithwaite passed on about two months later, the President told me he was glad he had spoken to him that December night. It was their last conversation.

My sister, Professor Foluke Ogunleye, died in an auto crash last December. The President read of the tragedy in the newspaper, and placed a call to me. He was quite sympathetic. It pacified me a great deal, and reduced my status as a wailing wailer.
Give me a stern President. We need such. But also give me a human and humane President. We equally need such. All these are embodied in Muhammadu Buhari, the man whose footprints would be indellible in the sands of time in Nigeria. He would bring change, and the change would be enduring.
.Adesina is Special Adviser, Media and Publicity, to President

Sunday, 15 May 2016

Social Media And The English Language By Reuben Abati


An article written by Reuben Ababti.
I get confused these days reading many of the posts on social media, and text messages sent through cell phones, because of the kind of new English that young people now write. The English language is without doubt quite dynamic. In the last 200 years, it has lent itself to many innovations, as cultural, religious, and situational codes have transformed the language and extended the dictionary, with new words and idioms.
The kind of new English being written by twitter and what’s app users, particularly young people is however so frightening and lamentable, because it is beginning to creep into regular writing. Texting and tweeting is producing a generation of users of English, (it is worse that they are using English as a second language), who cannot write grammatically successful sentences. I was privileged to go through some applications that some young graduates submitted for job openings recently and I was scared.

This new group of English users does not know the difference between a comma and a colon. They have no regard for punctuation. They mix up pronouns, cannibalize verbs and adverbs, ignore punctuation; and violate all rules of lexis and syntax. They seem to rely more on sound rather than formal meaning. My fear is that a generation being brought on twitter, Facebook, instagram and what’s app English is showing a lack of capacity to write meaningful prose, or communicate properly or even think correctly.

To an older generation who had to go through the rigour of being told to write proper English, and getting punished severely for speaking pidgin or vernacular or for making careless mistakes of grammar and punctuation, the kind of meta-English now being written by young people can be utterly confusing. The irony is that it makes sense to the young ones, and they can conduct long conversations in this strange version of the English language. I’d not be surprised if someday a novel gets written in this new English, which seems like a complete bastardization.

You may have come across the meta-English that I am trying to describe. It is English in sound, but in appearance it has been subjected to the punishment of excessive abbreviation, compression and modification. Hence, in place of the word “for”, you are likely to see “4”, and so the word “forget” becomes “4get”, or “4git”, “fortune” is written as “4tune”, “forever” as “4eva”. The word “see” has been pruned down to a single alphabet “C”, same with “you” now rendered as “u”. In effect, you are likely to read such strange things as “cu” or “cya” meaning “see you.”

Some other words have suffered similar fate: “straight” is now written as “Str8”, “first” as “fess”; “will” as “wee” (I can’t figure out why), “house” is now “haus”; “help” has been reduced to “epp”; (“who have you epped?”) instead of the phrase “kind of”, what you get is “kinda”, “money” is simply “moni.”, the computer sign ”@” has effectively replaced the word “at”; “come” is now “cum”, the conjunction “and” is represented with an “n” or the sign &, “that” is now “dat”, “temporary” is likely to be written as “temp”, “are” as “r”, “your” as “ur” “to” as “2”, “take” as “tk.” In place of “thank you”, you are likely to find “tank u”, “with” is now “wit” or “wif”, and “sorry” is commonly written as “sowie”. I have also seen such expressions as “Hawayu?” (“How are you?”), or “Wia r d u?” (“where are the you?”). The you? The me? The us?

By the time these new words get combined in what is supposed to be a sentence, you’d have a hard time looking for the sense beyond the sound. On many occasions, I have had to call the sender of such messages to explain what he or she is trying to communicate in simple English, and if it is on social media, I still often call for help. In recent times, I have encountered such messages as “This kidney gist is giving me heddik. I wee hold ya hand if you need kidney love you till we find a miraku. It kent happun pass dat.” Try and help translate that into correct English. And how about this:
“As fuel don add moni, everybody don park dem moto for haus.” Pidgin English? Well, may be. Or this: “B/c we d p’pl thought #fuelscarcity was temp. with the fuel hike policy, high cost of living is now a perm cond’n in Ng.”

Oftentimes, this special prose arrives amidst a number of other confusing symbols, emoticons, memes, acronyms and abbreviations, looking like a photographic combination of English and hieroglyphics. Some of the more popular abbreviations include Lmao (“laughing my ass off”) lol (“laughing out loud”), lwkmd (“laughter wan kill man die”), stfu (“shut the fuck up”), omg (“Oh my God”), rofl (“Rolling on the floor with laughter”), uwc (“you are welcome”), smh (“shaking my head”) brb (“be right back”), #tbt (“throw-back Thursday”), #WCW (“Woman Crush Wednesday”), and such new words as “bae”, “boo”, “finz”, “famzing”, “Yaaay”. Not to talk of such expressions as “You should mute me now”; “get wifed-up”, “birthday loading”, “you hammer”, “kwakwakwakwa.”

This paring down of language gets really worse when it is further reduced to mere jargon that is understood only by the young people who are adepts at it. You can take a look at your child’s text messages or BB or what’s app and not be able to make any sense out of the jumble of incorrect English, graphics, memes and pure lingo. The danger is that sexually suggestive conversations can be carried out by two young persons, texting each other, and a dinosaur-parent would have no idea.

What can any parent make out of the following for example: “10Q” (it means, thank you), “1174” (this means nude club), “121” (one to one), “143” (I love you), “182” (I hate you), “1daful” (Wonderful), “2BZ4UQT” (Too busy for you, cutey), “420” (Marijuana), “53X” (Sex); “9” (Parent is watching), “PAW” (Parents are watching); “99” (Parent is no longer watching), “ADIDAS” (All Day I Dream About Sex); “aight” (all right), “AITR” (Adult In The Room); “AML” (All My Love); “B4N” (Bye for now), “BF” (Best Friend) and “BFF” (Best Friend Forever).

This resort to abbreviations, lingo and special English reveals certain things about the growing up generation. There is a fascination with speed- when they get on their phones and other appliances, they want to get the message out of the way as quickly as possible, and they have a lot to say. There is emphasis on secrecy and privacy: that’s why there is so much concern about third party presence.

Many of the children who have become socialized into this new mode of communication are not always able to differentiate between correct and incorrect English, and this is why parents and teachers must be concerned. It is possible to assume that the teaching of morphology and syntax in our various schools is no longer as rigorous as it used to be.

Anyone who was brought up in those days on a compulsory diet of Brighter Grammar By Ogundipe, Eckersley and Macaulay and Practical English by Ogundipe and Tregdigo) would find it difficult to write this new English being made popular on social media. It would feel like an act of murder. Teachers and parents have a responsibility to ensure that their children are able to learn the very minimum of skills: the ability to communicate in decent prose. Some persons may well argue that this may not be the most important of skills required to live in a modern age, or that it doesn’t really matter in the long run, but I really doubt if a time will ever come when the business of communication will be reduced to a mastery of abbreviations and lingo.

The ability to write clearly strengthens a person’s ability to think clearly and to communicate effectively. It should not be surprising that many young persons these days, seem more at home in the world of gadgets and electronic appliances. They are forever texting or playing computer games and trapped in the electronic, virtual, space. They live both online and offline, spending a better part of their day on websites, thus, their emotional development is tied to this reality. Most parents lack the knowledge of what happens in the social media, and while some parents are trying to learn very fast, a knowledge gap still exists between them and their more digitally savvy children. But this should not result in the abdication of responsibility.

The abuse of the English language, and the inability to write well, is certainly not the only risk that an obsession with social media poses for young people. Parents also need to worry about addictiveness, exposure to inappropriate content and liaisons: all kinds of pedophiles and sexual predators operate online looking for innocent victims and luring them with sweet lingo. There are bullies too, harassing and stalking their targets. Under ordinary circumstances, parents have a duty to teach their children basic etiquette: this is even more required as they relate with others and navigate both online and offline spaces.

Back to the issue of language, our despair is slightly moderated by the fact that the interface between man and technology through the social media has also resulted in much useful creativity. New words have been invented through the social media, which are now gradually finding their way into mainstream English and the dictionary. In 2013, the word “selfie”- referring to a photograph taken by oneself with a smartphone, or Ipad- was declared the Oxford Dictionary Word of The Year.

Similarly, such words as textspeak, texting, sexting, twitter troll, tweeps and emoticons, are becoming common words in regular, daily communication. Words like “friend”, “timeline”, block” and “like” have also assumed new meanings and recognition, the same with such other words as: “unfriend”, “unlook” “twitter status”, “profile”, “trending”, “timeline”, “twitterati”, “blogging”, “bloggers”, “tweet”, “retweet”, “hashtag”: all of which have caught the attention of lexicographers as clear evidence of the living and evolving nature of the English language. If this is all that there is to social media and the English language, there probably would have been no cause for alarm, but the emergence of a generation of young Nigerians who cannot spell well, punctuate properly, or get their tenses right, because they now write social media English may have far-reaching implications for the use of English as a foreign language in our society.

Wednesday, 4 May 2016

6 Things Any Nigerian Who Grew Up With


Growing up with strict Nigerian parents is just the same thing as enrolling in the Nigerian Defense Academy, NDA. The drills were exactly the same and when you finish, you are as much a soldier as the NDA recruit. Some Nigerian parents take ‘strict’ to a whole new level and there word is law, no one dares break them. Those people who grew up with strict parents know exactly what to expect in this piece. We bet you are already relieving some unpleasant experience you had with your strict parents years ago. INFORMATION NIGERIA can relate and has outlined some of them here, lets check them out…
Never allowed out to play: Even when they are not home and there is no hidden camera watching you, you dare not step out to play hide and seek with kids in your neighbourhood. Even during long holidays, you are kept busy with holiday lectures at school and when you get home, they set their own questions for you like you’re praying for the world scholars exams.
Rigid bedtime: No matter what is happening on earth at the moment, when it is your bedtime it is your bedtime. You do not want to be caught awake and worst of all, in front of TV after your light out. Not even a respected neighbour could save you from what will befall you.

right



They are never wrong: Those kind of parents are always right. Even when they obviously messed up, they never ever admit it but some how find a way to make it your fault.
Friends were never allowed: You had the parents every of your friends were afraid of. You are not allowed to go to friends house after school or weekend and friends are not allowed into your house without their permission. Your obituary will definitely be announced if you attend a social event after school without their permission and by divine luck they found out and having friends of the opposite s*x was totally out of it.
Inspection: You are not allowed to eat out and when you were finally allowed to attend a birthday party in your neighbourhood, you must wait till you got home for them to inspect the package you were given there before you eat it. When you go out visiting with them, you dare not eat or drink anything you were offered, unless of course you want to know what being bruised and homeless means.
Failure was no option: You dare not come  home with anything below an ‘A’ and coming out with first position is your life duty. It doesn’t matter whether there is someone more intelligent than you in your class, it was your responsibility as their child to be the scholar at all places and time.
Which did we miss guys???

7 Real Struggles of Every Fat Nigerian



Being fat today in Nigeria is like a curse because people dread it and would do a lot to avoid being in that position. Fat people do actually go through a lot in the hand of society as they are always at the receiving end of their joke. They take no pity on them when they shade them. They are seen as their own enemy because they eat too much.INFORMATION NIGERIA in this piece, brings you 7 real struggles of every fat Nigerian person…
Unsolicited advice: Slim people automatically become your doctors and make it their point of duty to give you guidelines on how to check your weight. This begins with relatives, who tell you to survive on fruits and veggies and exercise till you pass out.
Everyone naturally thinks you’re lazy: You are considered as lazy and incompetent in everything. No matter how hard you try, when you’re fat, people just naturally assume that you’re lazy and can’t do nothing.
Hate shopping: Shopping is a herculean task, because nice clothes don’t fit, and plus sized clothes aren’t that nice, so when someone suggests you go shopping with them, you just give to them like Oprah did.
Conscious of everything: You don’t wake up one morning  and make a random decision like shaving your hair because you would think its going to make you look plumpy.
No to skinny jeans: No matter how much you love skinny jeans, putting them on is an insane process of jumping up and down. Then you have to pray they don’t rip through when you sit. And its actually a hard job finding Jeans that fit perfectly. Getting to Mars by foot might as well be easier than getting  jean your size. When you do find one, you’ll guard those jeans with your life and pray they don’t fade quickly because you’re going to rock them almost everyday.
Dread public transport: Whether the danfo seats are long enough or not, people just naturally assume the fat passenger has taken all the space and they give you the look, when you don’t make any effort to adjust. In fact, you’re expected to pay for more than one seat.
Unsolicited respect: Nobody cares to know your age, they just allude you with the kind of respect they’d give to their grandmother. You are addressed with ‘Ma’ or ‘Sir’ by person who are obviously old enough to be our parents.
Who can relate???

Friday, 8 April 2016

The Practice of Being Real


As the earth keeps going by turning itself toward the sun day of day, we have no choice, despite all forms of etiquette and training, but to keep turning toward what we feel is real. Otherwise, we become cold little planets spinning in the dark.

Very often, when I am confused or depressed for a long period of time, it is because I have stopped turning toward the light of what feels real.  At times like this, I have to break the darkness of my spinning with a very small and simple step that often seems huge and difficult because I have been spinning in on myself --I have to practice being real by saying what I feel, not just once, but continually.

I have struggled my whole life with this.  Like most of us, I learned to survive by withholding what feels real.  When events happen --when someone says or does something that hurts me-- I have learned to absorb the hit and pretend that nothing has changed, that everything is the same.  But when I do this, my energy is used up in maintaining the pretense that nothing has happened and I begin to spin coldly in the dark.

It is so simple and yet so brave to say that we are hurt when we are hurt, that we are sad when we are sad, that we are scared when we are scared.  In very direct and daily ways, this energy of realness --this mana-- changes situations because the immediate expression of our truth releases light and warmth that influences the life we are a part of.  This is the way our spirit shines.  

Thursday, 7 April 2016

Financing our future By Kemi Adeosun

Article written by Nigeria's Minister of Finance, Mrs Kemi Adeosun
Writing this, my third article on the economy, I’m keenly aware that the question Nigerians want answered is: what is government doing to address our economic challenges? The first thing to state is that there are no quick fixes, but our strategy is clear and the expected outcomes are pretty compelling. Our immediate economic imperative is to provide a Keynesian stimulus to reflate the economy.

The 2016 focus is underpinned by a desire to radically reposition Nigeria’s economy. This administration believes very strongly that the previous direction was far from optimal. We are pursuing a fresh direction consistent with our belief in building a resilient economy.

The strategy itself is worth reiterating. The 2016 Budget is being debt funded and the borrowings are targeted at the financing of capital projects to address the infrastructure deficit, create jobs and build the platform for optimisation of the non-oil economy that will see Nigeria prosper.  To this end, we have commenced an aggressive programme of fiscal housekeeping: increasing revenues and reducing recurrent expenses. This will ensure that we move towards our objective of financing recurrent expenditure from revenue, rather than borrowing as obtained before now.

In addition, we have signalled through our financial decisions that we are moving away from oil. Government investment in oil will be limited. We are inviting private sector participation in the funding of cash calls for our Joint Ventures rather than tapping the Federation Account. This is guaranteed to improve our cash flow.  As I have stated previously, oil is important but oil is not enough. Therefore, if faced with an option to invest borrowed funds in our railways or power or fund oil cash calls, we will strategically fund non-oil. This is in the knowledge that there are private sector solutions to the funding needed for oil, but few sources other than government for investment in physical infrastructure.

The debate about whether Nigeria should borrow is well intentioned and cannot be dismissed without careful analysis, given our antecedents as a nation.  I am in agreement with those who argue that Nigeria should not borrow simply because its debt to GDP level is low enough to accommodate such borrowing. There must be a clear business case backed by justifiable benefits. I believe that Nigeria has such a case at the present time. Simply put, we need capital investment to grow our economy.  At 13% debt to GDP, we compare favourably with the threshold of 30% for developing economies. Our low debt to GDP ratio is not exactly a positive attainment because it is accompanied by critically low level of infrastructure investment. It is actually a false economy.  Low capital formation is a risk which, if uncorrected, hinders future economic growth and this is already evident.

Borrowing, as we propose, will increase debt to GDP to 16% and still leave us significantly lower than our peer group including Ghana at 70%, South Africa at 50% (2015) and Angola at 31% (2014). Appropriate levels of fiscal deficit have been used to grow many of the most successful global economies. As ours develops, our sources of revenue will grow, diversify, and become less susceptible to external shocks. Our need to borrow will reduce accordingly. It’s important to note that capital spending creates an asset, and this gives a return over time in the form of growth. Infrastructural projects such as rail and roads create jobs, generate taxes and stimulate further spending. This is the economic multiplier effect that capital spending brings. Therefore, while an increase in public spending may create a deficit in the short term, the resultant increase in productivity will lead to a higher rate of economic growth and greater tax revenues. According to the International Finance Corporation (IFC), for every one billion US dollars invested in infrastructure in developing economies, between 49,000 and 110,000 jobs are created.

Our borrowing policy will remain conservative and will see us access the lowest available funds, hence our decision to approach multilateral agencies in the first instance, for budget support at concessional rates as low as 1.5% per annum. We have also secured commitments from Export Credit Agencies that are tied to specific capital projects including key initiatives in power, transport and other infrastructure, and at semi-concessional rates. The balance will be sourced commercially to create a blended cost of capital that’s as low as possible. We are addressing the relatively high debt service to revenue ratio which saw 28.1% of our 2015 revenues devoted to debt. This will be done through a systematic restructuring of inherited debt portfolio into a profile that is aligned with our medium term outlook as well as an increase in our revenues.

Borrowing is not our primary focus.  Increasing our Internally Generated Revenue is critical because it is sustainable; and because much of the funds collected went unremitted to Government – something we are tackling now. Our Revenue Team holds daily revenue sessions with MDAs during which clear targets are set and agreed; monitoring and evaluation are continuous.  We are deploying cash-less revenue collection processes in our high earning agencies to ensure maximisation of our receipts. We are working through Treasury Single Account balances with a view to identifying monies that can potentially be used to fund the budget and reduce borrowing.

Other costly leakages are being blocked. We have completed a detailed review of tax and duty waivers and discovered that in some cases, Nigeria lost significant revenues and with limited benefits. We are set to begin consultations with stakeholders on a revised policy aligned with the best interests of Nigeria. Furthermore, we are identifying funds that can be released from hitherto untapped sources, including idle and underutilised government assets that have commercial potential including real estate. To this end, Ministry of Finance Incorporated (MOFI) is to become a professionally operated Asset Manager, rather than a passive holder of government assets. It will be actively managed to ‘sweat’ Nigeria’s very valuable global asset portfolio. This will generate earnings and constitute additional budget funding.

Gradually and with the requisite safeguards, we will authorise the investment of part of the estimated N6Tn currently held in pension funds into key infrastructure that will provide workers with higher returns on their pension funds while enhancing capital formation and economic growth. Nigeria’s first ever Project Tied Infrastructure Bonds are being designed. These are novel structures that will see borrowings tied to specific revenue generating projects, bringing private sector financial discipline to the project structuring and delivery process, thereby improving value.

Our first quarter-planned release of N350Bn is ready and is sure to have significant impact, in addition to exploring opportunities to reduce contract prices. Our conditions for release of funds are clear and the mandate is a simple one: to define and agree the number of Nigerians to be engaged as a result of this funding. Priority will be given, without apology, to those creating jobs and opportunity for Nigerians. This level of investment, predominantly capital, exceeds the total capital spend for the whole of 2015 and the tempo will be sustained until the green shoots of recovery begin to appear.

John Maynard Keynes’ famous quote on fiscal stimulus - that when economies are depressed,“Government should pay one man to dig a hole and pay another to fill it back” - is an extreme example and suggests an economic benefit in seemingly pointless activity. In Nigeria’s case, the activity to be triggered will be a fully productive one. We will pay men and women to meet our critical needs in power, transport, housing, agriculture, solid minerals, health and education - and lay the foundation for a collective future that is more positive than our current situation may suggest.

One of Nigeria’s greatest strengths is the resilience of her people. Even beyond our shores it is widely acknowledged that if you can survive in Nigeria, you can thrive anywhere. Our ability to overcome obstacles and our ingenuity in exploiting opportunities, are legendary; our economic policy will ensure more of us succeed in creating wealth. There is sufficient diversity of opportunity which our capital investment can unlock. We will always celebrate the emergence of billionaires, of course, but we recognise that a thousand millionaires have greater fiscal impact.  Therefore, where the number of private jets was touted in the past as a measure of success, we will take pride in the number of people lifted out of poverty, and the number of new jobs created.

The idea that Nigeria can succeed this time is, for some, unthinkable. But for those of us privileged to be part of this determinedly patriotic team led by President Muhammadu Buhari, it is and will be possible.

Mrs. Kemi Adeosun is the Honourable Minister of Finance, Federal Republic of Nigeria

Monday, 28 March 2016

Bad Parenting actions you should avoid


Relationship tips for intimacy


 

Some couples believe falling in love is a passport to a relationship that will last a lifetime. The relationship tips we learn from TV and romance novels have made us believe that great relationships and lasting love happen effortlessly, yet the truth is that relationships take plenty of work.

Sometimes couples know something is off, something is seriously wrong, but they put off dealing with it until the problem becomes too big to ignore.

Take my friends, Sam and Abigail as an example. The beginning their relationship was full intimacy, laughs, touching, sharing, eye contact, lust and desire. Then their baby came and everything changed, including their sex life, especially their sex life.

Abigail says she’s just less interested in sex but desires intimacy. Sam is frustrated that Abigail doesn’t seem as interested in sex. Their biggest task now is to rebuild their sexual connection by taking little steps — touching, kissing, intimacy dates, and more dates — to reignite their sex life. Often couples fail to realize how little changes in how they interact can make big improvements in their relationships. Consider these few tips to keep your relationship healthy:

Don’t delay romance. People often postpone romantic overtures or sexy activities for special occasions such as date night or vacation. However, you shouldn’t postpone romance because you’re waiting for the “right” time. By making ‘everyday’ occasions special (such as wearing your “special” lingerie to bed or making out with your partner before your partner leaves for work), you will discover so much more pleasure and joy in your day-to-day life.
Don’t wait for your partner to fix your relationship. People often take a back seat in their relationships because they believe their partner should take the lead in fixing the relationship. “Why should I do all the work?” Although it is true that relationships are a two-way street, it’s damaging to be too comfortable simply because you want your partner to be romantic. If you want more romance, then you should be more romantic. Want more sex? Then, initiate sex more often. Your partner will see and enjoy your increased interest, and he will likely respond in turn.
Ask for what you want. You also need to be more upfront when telling your partner what you want. Women, in particular, are guilty of, not speaking up, as we assume our partners should be know what we want
Think small picture. When people want to improve their relationships, they tend only to look at the big picture, and they become overwhelmed. Instead, think small picture, such as: What can I do today to improve my relationship? What is one thing I can do today to show my partner how much I love him?
Daily appreciations. Couples tend to share negative feedback with one another more easily, but they don’t spend as much effort sharing positive feedback. Fix this quickly by giving your partner three daily appreciations.

Friday, 18 March 2016

Hmm check out 4 Tips To Have A Bigger Bum In 2016

 

big bum
1. EXERCISE

Exercise really is the safest and greatest way to build a killer b*tt or to get bigger hips. Start with lying down and raising your heels, repeat this like 20 times every day. You could also try squatting for same amount of times. If you want a faster result you can do this twice daily.
2. EAT RIGHT
You should start eating more of Fat, Protein, Carbohydrates and Vegetables, make sure you also exercise so you don’t add extra flabs around your stomach and laps.
3. PILLS & DRUGS
Though I don’t advise this, you can get some meds to help, i can’t recommend any but you can speak to your doctor. If you have any idea please reply to this topic.
4. BUTTPAD
If all the three above doesn’t work for you, go Yaba go buy b*tt pad, you can wear it with your clothes and nobody will know.
Let me know what you have tried and what has worked for you.